Friday, March 21, 2008

We Interrupt This Blog...

So I can wallow in self-pity for a bit.

I promise I'll be back and complaining ASAP.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

It's not that it's ugly, it's just that I wouldn't do that to MY house...

I'm hopelessly addicted to do-it-yourself remodeling shows. Why, you might ask? Several reasons, but I will tell you, the number one reason is that the evil part of my brain just LOVES to see it when people totally screw it up. I know it's wrong, but my repressed interior designer (majored in it for half a semester, you know!) loves to see what other people think is "aesthetically pleasing", and I love to sit my plump hiney on the couch and judge them. And watch them judge each other, too!

One of my favorites, Moving Up, was back on this weekend, and let me tell you, after a long hiatus, it was worth the wait. Not because I longed to see the hard work that these families put in to beautify their new homes, lord no. I wait for the bitchy commentary from the previous owners. Me-to tha-yeow!

If you've never seen it, let me give you the quick and dirty run-down. The show focuses on three families, we'll call them A, B and C. So A buys B's house, B buys C's house, and C buys someone else's house but no one really seems to care what they do to it. The premise of the show is that once the new owners have renovated the home to "their" style (and I use that term VERY loosely, folks. Very.) the previous owners come back through with the host (the lovely Doug Wilson, formerly of Trading Spaces) and critique the changes.

Ok, here's the rub...well, aside from the fact that people actually have the gall to say on national television that "2800 square feet is not enough space to raise a baby". I don't understand the how these former owners don't get the fact that they DON'T LIVE IN THESE HOMES ANYMORE. This weekend's episode had a real winner, by the name of Erin. Erin had a blood red wall in her bedroom, and while I did like the way she had it decorated, I can't say that I would be able to sleep with an entire wall of AB positive above me. But hey, that's just me. So delightful Erin walks through her former home, which the new owners had done a very nice, albeit bland job on. Upon seeing the bedroom, which has now been painted a cool blue shade, demands "where the HELL is MY red wall!". WTF, lady? What do you mean YOUR red wall?

Um, well sweetheart, seeing as it is no longer your house, it really doesn't matter where the red wall is. (But if I was taking guesses, I'd say it was under 15 coats of primer...) What the heck is wrong with people on these shows? Why would you expect the new homeowners to keep your paint colors? Are these folks so delusional that they think their decorating styles are the best ever and everyone should just LOVE them and keep them no matter what? Please.

The end of the episode has the the host sitting with the current owners, showing the tape of the former owners doing the "walk through", and I cannot fathom how these people don't understand that no, the former owners are probably not going to like whatever the new owners do no matter how nice it is, because let's face it, it's hard to see your memories wiped away. I also can't understand why these same people get all pissy and flip off the monitors and curse at the TAPE of the former owners, just because they don't like the new decor. Get over yourselves people!

The King and I got in to a heated discussion watching this episode, and he alleges that I would be the same way if I was in the situation, but I like to think I wouldn't be. I like to think that I'd be open to the fact that hey, the new owner of my house might not like my cute little Americana themed room, or they might not like my bright bathroom or dark bedroom. And yes, it would hurt to see the prince's bedroom, the room that we so lovingly and painstakingly prepared for his arrival, the room where I spent many a night rocking him to sleep while we both cried (he, from being a baby, I, from sheer exhaustion) gutted and all, I am smart enough to know that for every memory I have in my home, they are just that; memories. Memories that I have locked away in my mind that no one will ever take away from me. Once we're gone from here, I like to think that another set of parents will make new memories in this house.

I also like to think that if I was going to be taped for television, I might exercise an ounce of restraint and not tell a video monitor to f**k off (I'm looking at you, Erin), but who knows. I might be PMSing that day, and then all bets are off.

Friday, March 14, 2008

Springy Sprung Sprunging. Oh yes, I just typed that.

After an all too long winter, it appears that Spring will finally be sprunging. Yes, I just typed "sprunging". 13 years of Catholic School education just went right out the window, and somewhere in the distance, my mother just had a total conniption from my misuse of the English language, though she doesn't know why. Just for her benefit, I'll say it again. Sprunging. Spring will finally be sprunging.

Love you, Mom!

For the first time in what felt like an eternity, it was above the 50 degree mark. We celebrated this monumentous occasion by taking the prince out for a bike ride, though with him it is more like "chase the 4 year old and try to stop him before he rides the Hot Wheels bike in to the street". Good times. We even took the princess, though she whined and barked the whole time, and is now shooting every human in the castle the evil eye when they look at her. A cranky Westie, that one is.

I'm praying that mother nature isn't being a trampy little tease and giving me a taste of this and then going to make it snow by mid week. I need some nice weather STAT.

You think I'm kidding? I'm on my fifth round of "Hail Marys" as I type....

Sunday, March 9, 2008

Let He Who Is Without Sin Cast The First Stone.

So this will be one to file under "random" but I'm so irritated by this I just had to get it off my chest.

This afternoon the Prince and I went to lunch with my mother. The restaurant was packed; evidently there was a gathering of some members of The Salvation Army there, and they were sprinkled throughout the restaurant. The only open table we could find was behind a group of 3 boys and 3 girls, all whom appeared to be 14 years old or so.

They were fairly well behaved, just sort of loud, as groups of teens sometimes can be when they're out together. Talking about their prayer groups, meeting up at the teen center, excitedly making plans for a mission trip they're going to be taking. At one point, they all kind of broke out in to song, singing what appeared to be a hymn of some sort, "Hallelujah, Hallelujah...etc". No biggie, I'm all for being in to your faith if that's what you do. More power to ya.

Here comes my problem.

I hear them start to giggle and they're motioning towards the door. There's a girl leaving with her family. A tall girl. A VERY TALL girl. So these christ-loving sweethearts sitting behind me start mocking this girl, and making fun of her in such a manner that I honestly wanted to cry for her, and was so thankful she was out of the restaurant and could not hear what they were saying. "Hah, she's a giraffe!" "Look, she's so tall she has to duck to get in her car!" "She's the Empire State Building, she's so tall!" It was breaking my heart, and it left me feeling very sad.

But then, the more I thought about it, the more angry I got. What the hell, kids? That behavior is so hypocritical...you're talking about your church activities, your prayer groups, your missions to help others. Yet, here you sit, mocking one of your fellow church members. Loudly. In Public.

Not very Christ-like behavior, if you ask me.

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Don't Drive Angry.

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Sweet mother of God, this is getting ridiculous already!

The kingdom of minutia (you know, that tiny little lot that the castle sits on..) was socked with yet ANOTHER winter storm today, and I'm telling you, it's getting old.

In less than 24 hours, we accumulated more snow than the entire MONTH of March normally averages. How 'bout them apples? I don't know about you, but I'm thinking next year I'm going to drive my happy ass out to Punxatawney on February 2nd and have me a little talking to with a certain prognosticator. A real heart to heart. Oh, I don't know, along the lines of "Spring's just around the corner or you're going to be stuffed and mounted on my wall, Philly".

Or something to that effect.

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Dear Brandon Inge, STFU Already.

Oh, Brandon. Brandon, Brandon, Brandon.

I want to keep liking you, I really do. But you are making it fricking impossible anymore, and I'm afraid I'm going to be joining the masses of other Detroit Tigers fans who have had it with the whining.

Look, Brandon. I get it, I really do. You want to be in the thick of it, you want to be an every day contributor to what appears to be one of the best teams taking the field this summer. You're hurt and frustrated that your job, a job that (except for the hitting) you do VERY well, was stolen right out from under you. I get it. And I don't begrudge your hurt feelings. But seriously, dude, STFU already.

Your nice, big, fat contract, coupled with your abysmal batting average, is not going to make you the most desirable trade prospect out there. You know it, the Tigers know it, every other team in MLB knows it. Hell, my 4 yr old knows it. However, that big fat contract is going to get paid to you whether or not you play every day or twice a week. You need to man up, and be what they need you to be. Even if it means you have to catch. The current state of Michigan's economy has left a lot of your fans out of work..and I guarantee that any one of them would be more than happy to sit their ass on the bench for that kind of paycheck.

So please, Brandon, suck it up and take your medicine like a big boy. Get your numbers up, make yourself worth that contract to another team, and most importantly, stop acting like a douche. You've done a lot of wonderful things for this community, and it is all going to be a distant memory soon if you keep sounding like a whiny brat.

Kisses,
The Queen

Sunday, March 2, 2008

Well Hello There!

Bonjour! Welcome to my blog!

Here you'll find a hodgepodge of things, basically whatever thoughts happen to pop in to my twisted little mind... ranging from family and parenting, to work, music, whatever....anything goes! It'll be no holds barred and *hopefully* entertaining. (Um, and thearputic, for me...)

Enjoy!